How to Talk to a Twirling-Averse High School Band Director

So, you’ve asked your high school’s band director about the possibility of a twirling position and they’ve said, “No.” Before you spiral into an angry puddle of despair and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, take a deep breathe and consider the following steps:

As frustrated as you might feel, it’s important to remain cordial at all times. Allowing your temper to get the best of you will not only damage your chances of a successful outcome, but those of any other parent or twirler who comes after you. How you respond in this moment will also be a statement to your twirler of how to handle a disagreement. If you’ve already got your rebuttal locked and loaded, sleep on it. And perhaps find someone else to read it for tone before you send it.

Maybe the director is concerned about how drops would impact the band’s scores in competition. Maybe they had a bad experience with a twirler, parent, or coach in the past. Maybe they’re concerned about funding the extra costumes and equipment, or they’re unsure who would supervise your twirler. Unless you ask, listen with an open mind, and try to understand where they’re coming from, you won’t be able to find a solution that works for everyone.

Disagreements are easier to overcome when two parties can establish common ground. If you and the director both agree that the following things are true, hopefully there’s a way forward:

• All students deserve the opportunity to support their school with pride and participate in high school athletics.

• All teachers should aim to maximize students’ learning and growth.

• All schools should be in favor of expanding opportunities for students to express their talents.

A band is an ensemble, first and foremost. It’s a group of people who come together to deliver a unified show. As someone who wants to be a part of that group, you must be willing to play by the same rules as everyone else. That may include your twirler joining the color guard or playing their instrument for the first year, and that’s okay. Doing so will help them develop friendships and an appreciation for non-twirling members’ experience. It also proves you’re not out for your twirler to be the star of the show.

Performing with the band is likely something your twirler has been working towards for a long time. And they may have aspirations to continue twirling in college. Perhaps there’s even scholarship money at stake, so it’s crucial to gain performance experience now in preparation for those opportunities. Sharing all of this with the director may help them see the bigger picture.

Network with the band’s color guard staff, local coaches, or other teachers at the school to find someone who is willing to sponsor your twirler. Doing so will reduce the amount of responsibility placed on the director and give you another advocate for your twirler.

Ask if the director would be willing to support a one-time guest performance. While it may not be the ideal way for your twirler to begin their experience, it still gets them in front of a crowd. Sometimes such opportunities lead to a rally of community support, and ultimately an established position with the band.

If the conversation still isn’t going your way, arrange for performances at parades, pep rallies, and halftimes at other sports like basketball or volleyball. The goal is for the director to see your twirler’s talent in action and experience the value they’d bring to the band. It might also be possible to perform on the sidelines during the football games in collaboration with the cheerleading squad or dance team.

When all else fails, consider contacting the school athletic director, principal, superintendent, or school board. However, tread carefully. Going over the director’s head may cause them embarrassment or frustration, and could make things worse. Be sure you’ve exhausted all other options first.

Unfortunately, things don’t always go the way we hoped they would in life. At a certain point it’s important to recognize that it’s time to go in a different direction. End things as positively as you can with the director and respectfully part ways.

However, this doesn’t mean your twirler can’t still have a fun, exciting, and meaningful high school twirling experience. Far from it! It’s just going to look a little different than others'. 

Hopefully by the time you’ve reached this step, you’ve already identified contacts in your community who can support your twirler and/or performance opportunities besides football games where your they can shine. 

Keep your head up and carry on with the show.